Written by T, a, r, a, , P, a, r, k, e, r, k, e, r, k, r, a, e
We don’t know what heaven is like, because I’m never going to make it there. I have been dubbed “It,” by the doctors. They don’t even make allowances for accident, so no recreation. No, I will be condemned to eternal shame.
That makes it hard to decide if I should get a booster shot.
People tell me I need this shot, but I don’t really remember what it does. It gives me pins and needles in my hands. You can’t really do anything with them. I can’t use the keys to my car, and a pillow just hangs in my room. That’s it.
But, without it, I’m in trouble. I’m depressed, depressed, depressed. And I can’t drink alcohol. I thought if I got these flu shots, then I’d feel better. I feel really sorry for them, the people in nursing homes, who have no idea what they need to do to feel better.
I should also say that I’ve developed a suspicion of God. I think he’s working his plans by making us feel awful and robbing us of joy, and anger, and joy, and anger. His moves are not mysterious. They are pretty common, and not all that supernatural.
Here is a short list of his beliefs:
1. Machines don’t create jobs, the machines create jobs.
2. There’s nothing wrong with divided government.
3. Applying smiles without the smile itself is frowned upon.
4. The reason people make commercials is to sell you things.
5. Firing somebody is the sole act of God.
I guess that’s what caused me to start having trouble sleeping. If something makes you depressed, just stop it. I believe there’s a book out there that can tell you what’s good for you, and if you’re sick, get a booster shot.
You’ll find a quote on it, and it’s right here, in just about any language.
“Happiness comes at the expense of suffering.”
– Elizabeth Robbins